Independence Day for Oppressors

July 5, 2012 on 12:11 pm | In General | No Comments

American’s love Independence Day. It’s a holiday that everyone can get behind and celebrate; a day that ended oppression for the masses and united us forever, indivisible with liberty and justice for all, amen.

The 4th of July is so politically correct and inclusive that even the politicians stick their heads out of the ground and show up at small-town celebrations (much like Groundhog Day). If two politicians show up, see each other and retreat back down a hole, it’s going to be a long, rough political race.

Otherwise they turn out to speak at these events to throw out safe catch phrases, usually about American values – things unlikely to be off-putting to any particular group, ethnicity, gender, creed, socio-economic status or sexual orientation. Just keep the hot dogs coming and the beer drinkers swilling and all will be right with the world.

Or will it?

Kicking the Brits out 236 years ago probably seemed like the end of oppression to our Founding Fathers, however it lives on, leaving some of us to wonder, “Will we ever really be free?”

Below are a few oppressors we can do without.

Banks – They hold your mortgage in their hands and frankly, they don’t know what they’re doing. One day they’re doling out NINJA (No Income No Job A**hole) loans like free pens at the window, the next they’re clamming up tighter than Ebenezer Scrooge. This is why I propose a new Olympic event this year – hunting bank CEOs. Also, fraud gone unpunished isn’t very American.

Facebook – Friendly on the outside, invader of privacy on the inside. Repeated incidents and user-unfriendly customer service have made them rather oppressive.

Airlines – Charging for luggage, holding you hostage on the runway and not allowing you to play Words with Friends – oppressive indeed.

Ourselves – It used to be you worked from 9-5. With the advent of smartphones, e-mail and the Internet, it’s now a 24-7 free-for-all. Does your boss expect you to answer the phone at 7:30 p.m. just for a quick question? Does your client e-mail you something to check on a Saturday afternoon?

The sad irony: we’ve become self-oppressed.

Click here to see it in PBG Lifestyle Magazine

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