Michelle Kaplan

Things You Gotta Love About August

What does Bill Clinton have in common with the cute and cuddly imaginary elephant, Snuffleupagus from Sesame Street? They share a birthday, August 19. So does actor Matthew Perry and… oddly enough… Tipper Gore. They must have had some wild birthday bashes at the White House back in the day.

Sometimes while struggling to come up with a fitting topic I look up the month and try to find some odd holiday or interesting tidbit to run with. However, August is just chock-full of stuff.

August is Cataract Awareness Month and Romance Awareness Month, hmmm…proof that love is blind. Don’t worry, it’s also Eye Exam Month – I’m not kidding.

Sorry, but I bet you forgot to remind your kids that August 1st is Respect for Parents Day. I’m really bummed I missed out on that one.

Back in 1945 someone obviously did not check their calendar because August 6th is Peace Day. It is also the day the bombing of Hiroshima took place…maybe it was a diversionary tactic.

August 15th saw the premier of the Wizard of Oz in 1939, and the opening of the Woodstock music festival back in 1969. If you attended the latter, you may have believed you were actually at the former.

It happened in different years, Elvis died. Madonna was born, August 16.

Confucius and Mother Teresa share a birthday with Pee Wee Herman (Paul Reubens), August 27.

The fifth of August celebrates American Family Day, which conveniently coincides with Forgiveness Day – how did they know!

And if you paid homage to every food celebrated in August, you’d gain at least 17 pounds, because although August is Peach Month, that’s about as healthy as it gets. In August you can also celebrate: Ice Cream Sandwich Day, Ice Cream Soda Day (August 2), Watermelon Day (August 3), Champagne Day, Chocolate Chip Day and Mustard Day (August 4), Root Beer Float Day (August 6), S’mores Day (August 10), Creamsicle Day and Marshmallow Toasting Day (August 14), Potato Day and Soft Ice Cream Day – it is highly recommended not to celebrate them together– (August 19), Spumoni Ice Cream Day (August 21) and to put the cherry on top, so to speak, enjoy Banana Split Day (August 25).

But you can burn those calories you’ve just scoffed down because August has a national Bowling Week.

I used to blame some of these “holidays” on the greeting card industry; however, I can’t remember the last time I got or gave a Sister’s Day card (August 1).

If I could, I’d declare at least one holiday in August celebrating what August is best known for the scorching heat! How about: National Oh My God, How Hot Can It Get Month, or Free Parking Spot At The Beach Day, or my personal favorite – Let’s Go Up North and Breath Again Week.

August also boasts a lesser known, yet just as important group to commemorate, it’s American Artists Appreciation Month. We can all pay tribute to some of our favorite “artists”…you know, like Paris Hilton, Naomi Campbell, Khloe Kardashian,Nichole Ritchie, Amy Winehouse, Owen Wilson, and Lindsay Lohan. However, you’ll have to find them first, it shouldn’t be hard, how many rehabs and prisons are there in LA?

I’m sorry, was that a little harsh?…Lucky for me it’s also National Kiss and Make Up Month!